What We'd Do for a COVID Vaccine Now

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The COVID-19 vaccine, whichever one you get, is free in the United States. Our goals for inoculating the American public are bold and keep growing bolder, yet if you've spent any time at all trying to get one of the Pfizer or Moderna or Johnson & Johnson shots, you know it can be kind of a crapshoot whether you'll snag an appointment at all.

While impatient Americans are going to great lengths to do their part for herd immunity (just search Facebook for your local or regional vaccine-hunter groups), we're willing to go a lot further, if new survey data from ValuePenguin is anything to go by. More than one-quarter of Americans say they've already taken a second job in order to qualify for an earlier jab, and nearly 20 percent have considered it. And while we're mad about celebrities cutting in line to boast about their vaccines on social media, nearly 6 in 10 Americans say they'd pay to get their vaccine soon (for 10 percent of respondents, they'd go as high as $500).

We're also desperate enough that we'd bargain for easier access to the vaccines. If they could get the shot tomorrow, say 27 percent of respondents, they'd give up alcohol for a year. We're also willing to trade away Netflix (23 percent), video games (22 percent), and watching sports (22 percent).

Of course, this is all theoretical — or it should be: At least one hospital executive has already very publicly lost his job for bragging about giving undue access to COVID vaccines. The rest of us will just have to keep waiting and trying our luck.