There's a certain type of toxic job that both grinds you down and convinces you that everything will fall apart if you leave. If this sounds like a relationship danger signal, you're not wrong. In fact, talking about bad relationships can teach us a lot about being in the wrong workplace.
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Psychologists at the University of Utah have just released a study examining why people stay in relationships even when they're unhappy. They found that it actually involves thinking more about your partner than yourself: "The more dependent people believed their partner was on the relationship, the less likely they were to initiate a breakup," said lead author Samantha Joel in a press release.
If you're unhappy at work and anyone, especially someone with management responsibilities, tells you that the whole venture will fall apart if you leave, that's a major sign that you should leave as soon as you can. The first thing to remember is that that's almost never true. Even if it were, it would be a sign of incredibly poor management and internal structuring — again, signs to leave. If your job makes you too miserable to function outside of work, you have every right to find something better for you.
You might find yourself doubting this, especially when your boss panics and tries to woo you into staying. When they do, remember this quote from author Anne Lamott: "If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better." It will get you through an awful lot.